Labor and Delivery Coaches

So far my labors and deliveries have always shared one thing in common: They are SLOW! We have extra large babies that don’t like to come out without a little nudge. Being induced gives me plenty of time in the hospital, surrounded by my favorite cheerleaders. They definitely help me keep my mind off things.

Nurse: “Alrighty, Ms. Wallace. Would you like us to draw your blood first or insert your IV?”

Me: “Um, just…punch me in the face.”

Dad: “Honey, why don’t you just jump up and down and shake the kid out?”

Me: “Dad, I can’t! I’m numb from the waist down.”

Dad: “I’m numb from the neck up.”

Trudy (mother-in-law): “Did you know the uterus is the strongest muscle in the human body?”

Dave (husband): “I don’t know…you should see my hamstrings.”

Rachel (sister): “Sara, I heard you can naturally whiten your teeth with a strawberry.”

Rachel: “Wait a second…”

Rachel: “IT’S WORKING!”

Nurse: “Okie-dokie, Ms. Wallace. We need to make sure you don’t eat anything until after – ”

Me: “Oops. Sorry. You don’t know my family very well – we don’t stop eating for anything.”

Mom: “Whooooooooooo wants fro-yo?”

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