Me: Mom, what is all this stuff?
Mom: Oh, some clothes I cleaned out of my closet, some home school stuff…
Mom: And this. I bought it for the boys.
Me: Mom, we don’t have room for that!
Mom: Honey, we don’t have room for things like this at our house.
Dad: Get back here, you little fart!
Me: Dad, they’re not supposed to say that!
Me: What’s in your mouth?
Me: Mom, they already had doughnuts.
Mom: Oh, ok. I’ll get out the ice cream bars.
Dad: Honey, I’ve told you before – if you clean out your lint filter regularly your dryer will work much better.
Dave: Time to say good night to the kids!
Mom: Good night, sweeties.
Dad: Good night…little farts.