Kids Say the Darndest

Nothing makes you sweat bullets like having an extremely verbal toddler. If you make eye contact with my two-year-old he will most likely tell you a story or tell you a random fact about our family. It’s quite endearing. But the older he gets the more nervous I become when someone walks up to me and says, “Do you know what your son said?” This is just a sample of one day with William. Let’s start the day with a “where did I come from” question. Sure, why not? Toddlers want to get right down to business.

William: Did I used to be in heaven before I came out of your tummy?
Me: Well, not exactly.

William: Oh. I was just hiding behind your back.
Dave: You weren’t anywhere before God made you.

William: Yeah. Nothing happened and all of a sudden I was here. You pulled on Mommy’s ears and I popped out.
Me: Yep. And we’ll just leave it at that.

William can’t WAIT to be grown up. Sometimes his perception of what that will look like is a bit interesting…

Me: William, you have to let Mommy get some work done and then I can play balloons with you and Georgie.
William: But I want to work, too!

Me: You can’t work on a real computer until you’re a big boy.

William: (sigh) Yeah. Some day I’ll be a big fat William. Then I can have my own computer.

Me: Oh, William. You’re so special to me.
William: I just licked you.

Me: Um, why?
William: I thought you were dirty.

Life can be tough with two little brothers. Even at a year old Georgie knows how to get a rise out of William.

Me: Uh oh, Georgie. Did you go potty on the floor?
Georgie: Sure!
William: Oh no. Now NO ONE will come to my birthday party!

Me: Ok, William. It’s all cleaned up.
William: THANK YOU, Mommy! Let me shake your hand.

Later in the day I tried an idea I found on Pinterest. I “upholstered” the box springs with the bed skirt by nailing the edges to the underside. (I highly recommend this, especially if the box springs is sitting on the ground.)

William: Mommy, be careful!
Me: I will, honey.

William: I don’t want you to hurt yourself. You’re my special Mommy…my special fool.

At this particular season of life all three boys still need sleep training. I can’t dwell on that fact for too long or my brain will explode. It’s tough, but they are getting the hang of it.

Dave: So if you stay in your bed all night without getting up to get your sippy, you will get a reward.
William: Oh thank you, Daddy! That’s just what I needed!

Turns out it WAS just what he needed. Sometimes I kick myself and think, “If it was that easy why didn’t we do it months ago????” Oh well. He’s our oldest so he’s the test child. As much as I think I’m teaching him, I think he’s teaching me much, much more.

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